Home, Home on the Range

So, we're in the new house - if you can call 30 years old new. It smells new with the fresh paint job it just had.

We've been moving things over in dribs and drabs, starting with the kids crap. We did a Clean Sweep with pristine daughter's room....emphasis on her pristine nature as diabolically opposed to her room's. We first thought of calling Haul Yer Junk to come in and suck out her toys and schtuff into the vortex of its pit. But ultimately, we ended up emptying out all her toys onto some tarps and blankets in our outdoor courtyard and separating them into the Junk, Donate, Keep and Sell piles.

I think we have an invisible critter in our courtyard though because at least a dozen times yesterday, I would mysteriously find that something that I had placed into the sell or donate pile would somehow end up back in Keep. Very strange. As were the stuffies I found my daughter sleeping with last night....all were eleventh hour salvages from the same outcast toy piles.

I tried to cut her some slack but not much because she is a Toys 'R Us outlet store waiting to happen. So it's not as though getting rid of a toy or two or five hundred is a hardship for her. And yet the tears flowed anyways. What if no one will love my (insert useless toy name here)? They will, honey, we'd assure her. They may even love it more....(sentence left dangling to infer that perhaps pay-it-forward child may only have 1o or less toys and may thus, be able to devote way more time, care and attention to the toy rediscovered in the Clean Sweep that had previously been buried in the bowels of her bedroom for God knows how many months).

The kids brought a couple of neighbor pals over (current, old place neighbors) to the new pad last night and they all sat in the hot tub. Which wasn't quite full. And I had no idea how to work it. But it was hot. And it was a tub. But it was not full nor bubbly. However, it seemed to appease their desires to sit in a hot tub. Mother of same neighbor children let the cat out of the bag last night though and I was none too impressed.

She called me over and commented how our 10-year old son had mentioned to her something about how peeing in our hot tub will cause the hot tub to shut down and necessitate a visit from the friendly, neighborhood repairman, an incident we all wish to avoid at all costs. So moral of the story? No peeing in the hot tub. That's what toilets are for.

But she thought perhaps he was serious (which he was - it was the story I was sticking to after all and I told it with my ultra-supremo straight face - the one that is de facto seriouso and which alleviates any/all doubts on matters from whether there is a supper policeman who shows up at the door to haul away children who don't finish their dinner, to what happens if you get caught picking your nose in public).

So she outs me publicly, by laughingly assuring her kids in front of mine that this was simply not true. And so I then had no choice but to chide and chastise her equally as publicly, by advising her that I didn't know what hot tub she had ever sat in, but this is how our particular hot tub works, said in my best nudge, nudge, wink, wink tone, and it literally will shut the motor down if it detects pee in the system. I then looked over at my son who was eagerly awaiting the verdict, and somehow managed to steadfastly hold his questioning gaze, thereby reassuring him that mom was not telling him a grand fib. This neighbor mom finally got it, but only sort of....because she then admitted that she prefers her kids to pee in the lake so she doesn't have to haul them out and run them to the washroom.

Too much information.

This is the same mom who thinks nothing of letting her snotty-nosed toddler run around with green boogers dangling from his nose. Which is fine if that sort of thing doesn't bother you. I happen to have a different tolerance threshold and tend to be the type that thinks nothing of wiping other kid's noses, if need be. And this is the same toddler who just projectile vomited all over our outdoor courtyard last week, scant millimeters away from an Afghani kilim carpet we are rather partial to. Thankfully, his mom had the good grace to come clean it up, hose it down and Lysol disinfect the heck out of it.

Anyways, long day short, we got through it but it was a painful process sorting through Polly Pocket pieces. Who the hell invented Polly Pocket? More to the point, I would like to meet a girl who keeps her Polly Pocket pieces together in one spot. Or clothes on her Barbies. Or wheels on her buses. Or feet on her Bratz dolls. Feetless Bratz dolls with minute waistlines, huge hips and monster eyes and lips freak me out.

The saga continues this week. Demolishing rooms...our closet, the kitchen and this office will be the next biggie events. We're making two-three loads a day over to the new haus and then these next two weekends, we'll do the big furniture loads. I won't be here the second weekend. I'll be in Oregon on the first annual SSBM blogger getaway with Becca, Tanya, Jeri, Christina (the Beast Mom herself), her sister, Grace, and her college roomie, Chris.

I didn't exactly plan our move to coincide with this Oregon coast girlie getaway but it would be a drag to have to cancel plans that have been almost a year in the making. So, I'm hoping we'll get the bulk of the move done, save for the bulky and heavy furniture, done prior to my exodus from the state. The only thing I'm good for when it comes to moving big furniture is either (a) getting in the way; or (b) making annoying suggestions on where said furniture should be placed in a room.

In between packing and moving, we're also furniture, appliance and window-blind shopping. We just bought a new Bosch washer and dryer. The appliance sales guy was a turd. Why do people, people who hate people...work in people-oriented industries? Gets me.
And our son starts summer school tomorrow. Which he's dreading, especially because he is now the proud dad of a Webkinz panda so he'll miss spending every waking moment with his new pet. Thanks, Brenda and Hollie, for fostering yet another cyber addiction for my children. Actually, it's perfectly good, safe, cyber fun. My daughter loves it. It's her first time really hanging on the computer and the games are perfectly geared to her age. She has a yorkshire terrier and a polar bear.

So that's my moving story and I'm sticking to it. I'll be counting back and forth trips for this, our first in-town move in a million years, just for fun. So I can write a book. How to Move in 83 Easy Trips.


Tanya said...

I am so happy that you are getting all moved into your new home! I can't wait to hear all about it on the trip :)

I cannot believe that in less than 2 weeks I will be sitting on the beach with you! I am looking so forward to this vacation.

Brenda said...

How exciting with the new house! It looks so warm and inviting. :) And you're so welcome about the Webkins. I'm all about fostering techno addictions, you know. (BTW: The CK's learned they could 'adopt' new Webkinz friends... don't go there. Do. Not. You'll be so sorry you did.)

Natalie said...

I feel your pain... and your joys... on all things hot tub, moving, and green boogers.
Isn't it exciting to be moving into a new home? Makes ya wanna buy a bunch of new stuff. That's crazy fun unless you have jerk-off salespeople. But then... those kinds of salespeople always get me a discount 'cause I end up talking to their boss. *sigh* You just can't find good help these days.
Dman did the same thing when we were attempting to pack/move from Chicago. I kept finding things in his room that I'd pulled to the donation box. He just did not get it. So... those donation boxes got sealed quickly.
The worst part of moving (besides the moving) is having to clean the "old" house after you've worked so hard to get moved. I suggest hiring someone to do that work. I did last time and I was very glad for it.
Pace yourself!

VENTL8R said...


Simply Hollie said...

Well I think I can help with that book! I have done well toooooo many moves in my 40 years..I have it down to a science..talking of Toys R US...Roo's room must match that of holy daugthers cause last week we threw out over 3 garbage bags JUST from her room and freecycled a box of stuff too. Welcome to the world of WEbkinz too! Roo is trying to earn a few more this summer( school pages done count for points=cash can turn into WEbkinz). Well good luck with the move and you will so need that beach, wish I could be there.

Jeri said...

It's nesting time! Woo hoo!

That is so exciting for you... and as an organization freak I always enjoy the opportunity to pare down, get organized, start fresh... until I realize I'm being way toooooo anal retentive to ever actually get the job finished, jumble everything into boxes and just get it moved.

Do you need to borrow a pickup truck? Seriously?

HOLY said...

Tanya: Beach?! Does that involve a bathing suit? lol - I'm soooo looking forward to chilling and taking five million pictures of that famous rock that juts out of the water.

Brenda: Holy Son just learned that his sister's pets go between rooms so of course he wants to adopt another. Oh great. Just as we're doing serious purging.

Nat: I can just picture DMan. The cleaning on this end will suck but they may be selling the house to a flipper who will be gutting the kitchen and repainting in which case we may not have to scour clean as much as we usually do....we'll see...

And re: the appliance dude - that's why he was snarky....I made him discount and match pricing elsewhere - standard schtick, I mean come on...so it hit him where his commission coins don't shine....serves him right.

Ventl8r: Yes finally, holes in the wall we don't have to stress and feel guilty about. Big sigh of relief.

Hollie: Moving sux doesn't it? My headspace on this one is the worst yet - I think I'm getting old - I just didn't have the desire to even get started with packing until this past Saturday....how bad is that?

Jeri: Thx for the offer - we'll do the van trips this next week and then U-Haul this weekend and the following (while you and I are gone -teehhee - how's that for timing?) - so we should be good. I'm looking forward to efficiently storing and organizing stuff - totally need more feng shui and less clutter in our lives. Looking at doing a Murphy Bed/office desk combo in our small downstairs office - we'll see....are you still going to do the early morning drive or crash on this side of the water next week?

Jungle Mama said...

Can't get over your prestine daughter and her 11th hour toys. Spider Monkey started collecting hers upon the 1st hour, like a year before we moved! Her stash was like a huge rats nest, but each item was a treasure. Yes, even every one of those little polly pocket outfits. Only we've got the princesses and they have to come with their matching hair and shoes for every outfit. Lord only knows all the places one or another of those tiny shoes now sits.

Happy moving in those easy 83 trips! LOFL!! Sorry, I'm not buying the book.

The Beast Mom said...

Cool! I'm glad you're in the new place!

I was worried for a while that you might have to bail on the trip but I'm glad you'll make it in spite of the craze with the moving. It would NOT be the same without you on our first ever trip. :)


p.s. Polly Pockets are a cute idea, but they're really hard to keep organized. I think I've vacuumed up half Polly's dinky shoes and stepped on all her plasticky hairdos.

Natalie said...

I stopped by to read your comments.
Beast Mom's thoughts on Polly Pockets cracked me up.
This is the very reason why Leggo's are now banned in our house.
When you purchase a $500 vacuum (from a relatively nice appliance dude) there's no way in hell I'm gonna let Leggo's in this house!

Jorge said...

Last time I moved, I swore next time I was having a fire, if there ever needed to be a next time. as always, I love your stories :-) Be well,

Simply Hollie said...

Too jorge trust me you dont want to go the fire route, been there done that way too painful.

Missing your posts but understand, moving can well make your life insane for weeks!

Jorge said...

Life keeps moving on, and mine is no different. I just posted a new piece today I'd love to get your views on - stop by when you have a chance. Be well,

KC said...

I think I threw out, donated, gave away more 'schtuff' (trying to be polite here) than I actually packed and took with me to the house... and yet I can live without almost everything that is still packed away in boxes, except for a few oddities. I feel your pain and I don't have any kids to add to mine!!!

The house is stunning Holy! And if I ever have kids and a hot tub at the same time... I will use your lil white fib as the TRUTH... excellent fib. Stupid neighbour. Sheesh!!!

I hope you have a fubulous time with your blogger weekend... sounds like quite the adventure - one I can't wait to read about!!!


KC said...

Hi Holy.... about the laws of attraction - I was specific but apparently not specific enough - thus my issues and troubled heart. And because it is long distance - I have to decide fast considering he's talking coming up next weekend for a week and eventually moving to Canada. Right now... my heart isn't there - I feel like I bought a 'lemon' from a used car salesman at the moment. Its not sitting well with me. I've contemplated over the fear thing but its more than that... its about deciding whether or not I truly want what I am NOW presented with (since earlier versions came with little white lies and ommissions) for a life long mate...

Big questions... very confusing at the moment... and slightly resentful. Lesson learned: BE VERY VERY VERY SPECIFIC... leave nothing out no matter how superficial you think it is.

s- said...

hehehehe.. on the Mom fibbing. Up until two years ago, my children believed that I was really only 15 years old. Then one of them (the middle child, the smart one) started doing the math, and was like, "wait, heyyy.. wait a minute!!!"
But it's so much fun isn't it?
Not so much fun when green nosed little monster moms ruin it for us, damn them.

Glad to hear your move is going particularly okay. Funny about the yard sale. I think next time we'll do one, we'll have to hire a sitter for the "organizing".

The Beast Mom said...

So are you alive over there? Did your friends come and help? Are you fully in the new place?

Don't mind my questions. I know you've been a "bit" busy. ;) Just thinking about you and wondering...

Hope all is well. If you need help cleaning the old digs or doing runs to Goodwill or whatever, just give me a call.