Serenity Prayer

When the hell am I going to get this? I could use a little serenity about now. Life has been a bit stressed of late. We just put an offer on a house and the thought of it has me feeling excited and an intense urge to vomit.

The only thing that brought a smile to my face today and the reminder to breathe, was this e-mail from hubby:

Subject: Inner Peace

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives.

By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace.

Dr Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished."

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a bottle of Vodka, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel. Please pass this on to those whom you think might be in need of inner peace.
On that note, I see a bottle of Bailey's calling my name about now. Wish us some serenity, courage and wisdom in even doses. Or a whole lot of drunkenness - whichever comes first.


cas said...

Hahaha, pour us a glass of serenity and wisdom, too !!

Natalie said...

I was looking at those pics yesterday and wondering if it was your house or a house you were looking at. I just kept thinking, man, that house is cool... and looks a little too un-lived in. So, is that your house or the one you put an offer on? If it's yours... there is no way in hell you had THAT much to drink. lol

Now that's a serenity prayer I could say every day, on my knees, probably hugging the porcelain goddess.


s- said...

I have a half gallon of Grey Goose that I've only taken a sip of; a 5th of Kahlua, nearly a gallon of milk, a just opened box of Lucky Charms, all of that candy I've been putting off and haven't eaten since Christmas, Valentines, Easter, and maybe even some Halloween...
Leftover meds?
Cymbalta, Concerta, Topamax, Tylenol PM, NyQuil, Sudafed and Listerine...

Wanna just have a party?

Jeri said...

An offer on a house? That absolutely rocks! I'm keeping my fingers - and toes - crossed for you!

Hmm... I have quite a bit of unfinished margarita mixer. And, like cereal and milk, the mixer and the tequila bottles never finish up even, so this could end up a perpetual cycle. But hey, think of the vitamin C in all that lime juice. ;)


Becca said...

Is that the house? It is gorgeous, can I move in with you? :-) Details, and pass the bottle!

Jorge said...

I hope your Desirata comes true, and life brings you more peace than can be found inside our pre-packaged remedies :-) Until then, you're welcome to rail against the howling storm with the rest of us inmates.

HOLY said...

Hello all:

Yes, those pics above are of the new place - hubby wanted to see pics of the backyard again so I posted them. I'll post more so y'all can see how we're now helping support those poor Wall Street mega gajillionnaires who keep the rest of us in debt.

So yeah, we have a verbal acceptance on the offer, so now I find myself gagging at 3 minute intervals - I'm so incredibly terrified - having to shop for a mortgage broker is way overwhelming.

Jorge, perhaps you can prescribe an appropriate analgesic for this acute pain I'm now feeling in the area of my pocketbook? Egads....feels much like a bullet hole might.

Kids remind us that this is supposed to be exciting not terrifying - thank God for kids....they have it all figured out.

KC said...

I can totally attest and relate to the overwhelming feeling buying a house has been/is. I am days away from getting the keys - all papers are signed and lawyer has been paid... but the sheer anxiety that has crawled up my ---- and settled in the pit of my stomach... not pleasant. Everyone keeps asking me how excitted I must be but the honest truth is I just want this whole process done and over with so I can just get on with it!!!! I only get excitted when I actually see my house - which is 20 mins out of town so I don't see it often. My final walk thru is this Saturday so maybe it will infuse me with excitment and motivation - which I have been lacking. I must admit though that I had an amazing mortgage broker and it was painless... So good luck with that process and I wish you the smooth and easy task of mortgage shopping as I had.

I haven't even packed yet... I keep following Dr. Phil's advise but all those unfinished bottles of booze don't help the process as I really do try to complete unfinished projects. Tumbles and concussions has been the name of the game for me!!! Nothing is ever really done gracefully with me... ***sigh*** LOL!

I am off to take a look at your new humble abode... from the pics I can see it looks stunning! Congrats!

In the midst of the chaos and stress... do please please please find time to relax and figure out a way to enjoy the process. I might get it right the next time I try my hand at this! Oh - and very very wise kids...

Ciao bella,

Natalie said...

Wow. That closet makes me want to put in an offer myself! :)

Shopping for a mortgage broker shouldn't be too bad considering they are all watching as the markets wind-down and are fairly competetive. Besides, no matter who you go with, it's all about the process and watching that they don't try to stick you with a bunch of "new"or "hidden" costs. I had to watch my broker's every move. I learned a lot in the process. And almost as soon as I bought the house, they sold the mortgage. Geez.
All the best and, remember, you can always sit and relax with those half-bottles. Save the full ones for those "In Case of Emergency" moments.

Alison said...


*snort* I love the advice. If only Dr. Phil knew how his advice could be taken...

But what made me laugh the hardest was the labels at the end of your blog. Am I the only one who comes here to see the words courage, fear, home buying, serenity prayer and vomit all in a row?

Congratulations, by the way. You're not crazy, you are just a real grown-up again!

Lynn said...

Oh, I am SOOOOO with you and the hubs, Holy. We just put our hugely frightening down payment and first payment down on our house and are packing now. Right now. It's sick-making going through an owner-seller, even with their lawyer, most of the decisions are theirs...there is no 30 days closing cost b.s....however, there is all the nit-picky, whiny "please love my house as much as I do" while they caress the walls and hug fixtures and give the children the hairy eyeball. Good thing they give the money the loving eyeball even more.
I'm not supposed to mix alcohol with meds, but between getting two boys dropped on me outta nowhere for the summer and moving in a week out of the blue...I'm mixing, I'm mixing...maybe I'll have a nice vacation in the hospital while they get everything done for me? *I'm only mixing a LITTLE, dangitall!*
Good luck...it's an amazingly gorgeous house...looks so austere and sterile now, but I know you'll put your loving touch to it once you get moved in. It looks like it needs some Schmidt to hit it. =)

SAAM said...

Great advice!!!

c said...

I like the serenity prayer and find it that much more appealing followed by your "when the hell am I going to get this?" :) Reminds me a little of the cliche "Please God give me patience NOW!"

Good luck with the house! Sounds like your kids have it right and while terrifying, make sure you enjoy it as well!

Jorge said...

I've had one of those days, and came by to get a dose of Holy. Be well,

Jungle Mama said...

You crack me up! I am thinking my own bottle of Bailey's looks pretty good too, but I'll save it for another time when I know I'll need it. Congrats on the offer. Are those pictures above of your (hopeful) new digs?

Jungle Mama said...

Suppose I should have actually read the comments before posting. Jeeze! The place really looks beautiful. I'm sure it will all work out fine and you'll soon forget the pains.

Anonymous said...


This weekend I finished a pound of bacon, a jar of garlic-stuffed olives, several books and a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Who says we've got no patience to search for peace of mind?

Natalie said...

Wow. Manda could be pregnant... of thought. ;)

How's that paperwork goin'?

The Beast Mom said...

The house photos are very cool, D.
I like it mucho much. Hope everything is going smoothly w/ the transaction/packing. Let me know if you want someone to help pack stuff w/ you. Or just "finish" more things around your place. heh-heh


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