Back to School Blues

Some parents feel blue when their kids go back to school. Much like an anthropologist, I am fascinated if a great deal suspicious of this rare and deranged creature.

Then there are the rest of us, who rejoice a la Julie Andrews romping through a valley of flowers, singing Joy to the World, the kids are gone, there tru-ly is a God! when the kids go back to school. And we know the moment down to the millisecond, for we have been fervently marking X's on our calendars just as our fellow prisoner brethen have taught us is the thing to do until the Get Out of Jail Free card comes in.

And the ones who rejoice the most are those of us who were too stupid and idealistic to schedule the heck out of our kids all summer, opting instead of summer camps to keep things footloose and fancy free in hopes of having "family time" to visit parks and attractions. Yeah well, let me tell you, that fun family fantasy faded fairly fast - and those are the only f-words I care to share in polite company - I think it was day two of summer in this household before I began spouting the other f-words, as I recall. That was about the time I Googled to see if drinking alone without benefit of other adult commiserate-types constituted pure and certain alcoholism.

I had made it all the way to my last calendar X, without benefit of much anesthesia, as miracles would have it (and yes, I'm bragging), when what could only be classified as a parent's worst back-to-school nightmare occurred.

The school district announced a strike tonight. No school until further notice.

My latest f-word is flabbergasted, to say nothing of feeling frayed at the edges and fried for breakfast at the thought of how long this strike might potentially last. Rumour has it the last strike in these parts lasted 7 weeks. I did the math and that's just asking for Social Services to come calling.

But I'm somewhat prepared to handle this emergency in the short-term. I have an unopened bottle of Bailey's and I know with absolutely certainly, without even having to Google it, that Bailey's is a 24/7 apothecary item. No 'After 6pm only' notation there.

So I'm good to go until Wednesday at the outset. After that, I dunno. You may want to send back-up in the event you haven't heard from me. Chocolate cake and a nail file may not cut it.